Well, it’s finally here: the sixth and final segment for FDTP. For the select few who have trudged through all six, I will be sending out E-cookies and E-medals in the mail shortly. To San Francisco Giants GM Brian Sabean: You’re welcome.

ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS

What can you say about these guys? I dare you to find a weakness. I have to admit, I was not a buyer of the Diamondbacks’ stock going into the season considering how they blew their Pythagorean record out of the water last season – I thought they were a fluke. How wrong I was.

If I’m GM of the D-Backs, I don’t attempt to fix what ain’t broke.

One could make the case that they’re weak at catcher, but how much of an upgrade over Chris Snyder would Ramon Hernandez, Yadier Molina, or Michael Barrett be? Have a look at the table below:

It appears that only Molina would bring an upgrade, but the Cardinals signed him to a four-year extension in January, and if they’re in any way still in contention near July 31, he’s off-limits.

Other than Molina, it’s not worth the switch and there just aren’t any other available catchers.

It looks like the D-Backs’ best option is to stand pat for now.

COLORADO ROCKIES

My prediction of the D-Backs and Rockies turned out to be equally wrong: I thought the Rockies were for real, and the D-Backs were flukes; turns out it’s just the opposite.

The Rockies’ problem is starting pitching as anyone with a clue (note: not me) could see.

Closer-then-setup-man-then-closer Brian Fuentes is a free agent after the season and he’s been brought up in many a trade rumor. Now the Rockies need it to actually happen. Fuentes likely won’t be returning to Colorado save a huge contract offer but that’s not going to happen. Almost every contending team (even those pseudo-contenders) needs bullpen work and you can’t go wrong with a late-innings reliever with Fuente’s track record. Plus, he’s left-handed!

If the Cleveland Indians either can’t or won’t count on Joe Borowski returning as the closer (why should they, anyway?), they may want to bring in a closer from outside the organization rather than bump Rafael Betancourt and subsequently Rafael Perez. The Rockies may be able to get lefty Aaron Laffey from the Indians. If not Laffey, then the Rockies could ask for Jeremy Sowers (another left-hander) and speedy outfield prospect Jose Constanza.

LOS ANGELES DODGERS

Third baseman Andy LaRoche is due to rejoin the Dodgers in mid-May after recovering from a thumb injury, so the Blue Crew just needs to tough it out until then. What they really need is at least a league-average pitcher to plug in at the back of the rotation. The quartet of Brad Penny, Hiroki Kuroda, Derek Lowe, and Hong-Chih Kuo has been outstanding so far, but Chad Billingsley hasn’t. Relax, I’m not going to propose it’s time to drop Billingsley. Kuo belongs in the bullpen, however, a #5 starter like Kyle Lohse or Tim Redding would fit perfectly to round out the rotation.

Redding would likely cost the Nationals a couple B-level prospects like Terry Tiffee and Xavier Paul. Lohse, depending on how many of his next 15 starts are like his first five, could cost the Dodgers as much as a meaningful prospect (like Greg Miller) or as little as a handshake and some cash.

Elsewhere, the Dodgers are solid, assuming they’re going to continue utilizing the black hole that is Andruw Jones in center field.

SAN DIEGO PADRES

As mentioned several times in previous entries, the Padres have the luxury of dealing with two Major League-caliber third base prospects in Kevin Kouzmanoff and Chase Headley. They seem to want to use Headley as an outfielder instead but if they should choose to listen to offers for either of the two, there would be a few teams interested.

Presuming that isn’t the case, though, the Padres need offensive help badly. Picking up some fringe players won’t help them any; they need to pick up a bona fide power hitter. Several potential free agent outfielders could be available, such as Adam Dunn, Moises Alou, and Wily Mo Pena. Dunn would be the only one really worth the time and the Padres would have to offer him a contract to make it worthwhile, since they won’t be tickled pink with a top-15 pick (presuming they finish 16^th or worse record-wise) and a two-month rental of Dunn. Pat Burrell may also be available from the Phillies but a lot of factors would have to simultaneously occur: the Phillies are out of contention in the NL East, the Phillies don’t plan to re-sign Burrell, and Burrell waives his no-trade clause.

The Padres are in a tough spot because there are not a whole lot of players out there that would make a noticeable impact, and they play in the toughest division in baseball.

SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS

The Giants, surprisingly, are not as bad as everyone thought. However, their starting pitching makes the 2002 Tampa Bay Devil Rays’ look like a rotation full of Cy Young winners. Frankly, it’s just not worth trying to piecemeal their way to a contending team. Even though they’re proving a lot of people wrong by winning 44% of their games rather than the projected 39%, they aren’t close to being playoff-caliber.

The Giants need to get rid of the spare tires and just work in younger players. Rich Aurilia, Ray Durham, Jose Castillo, Randy Winn, and Dave Roberts should all be dumped or traded for grab-bag prospects. All they’re doing is taking up roster space and payroll space.

It really doesn’t get simpler than that. If you’re 31 or older, get out of the starting line up… except for you, Bengie Molina.

That’s it!

Thank you to those of you who managed to read through these six entries. If any of you have any contacts, please E-mail these to all 30 GM’s in Major League Baseball so I can have the prestigious honor of having my work thrown in the office incinerator.