I hate this--I absolutely loath this feeling. You see, first and foremost I’m a baseball fan--then I’m a Blue Jays/Phillies fan who still mourns his Montreal Expos. I love the game; I love being a fan and a writer/blogger and enjoy the work of my fellow scribes and bloggers.

On the one hand, I despise baseball management--I pity the poor earthworms that will consume the corporeal remains of people like Carl Pohlad, Jeffrey Loria and David Samson (he’d be dessert--shortcake most likely). On the other hand, I feel for fans of teams like the Twins and Marlins because they absolutely, positively do not deserve the abuse they’ve been subjected to because of the greed of the corporate welfare Lords of Baseball.

To see the wealthy further enriched without actually working for it makes me seethe.

It’s bad enough that the taxpayers will foot most of the bill for the new digs, but they’ll be forced to pay higher prices to watch their team in the park that they paid for!

I don’t want to rain on the parades of Marlins and Twins fans--not after everything they’ve gone through. If you’re a fan of these teams, please hit backspace now--it’s gonna get ugly here momentarily and you should be out celebrating on your blogs and forums. Crack open a cold beverage of choice and mingle online with like-minded baseball fans. Fans deserve to be happy and God knows you’ve earned the right to whoop it up after everything these fiscal succubi have put you through.

(Waits for Marlins and Twins fans to leave)

(taps foot impatiently)

O.K. if you’re still here I don’t want to read any feedback ripping me for what I’m about to write--you did this to yourself (fans not of these clubs can feel free to blast away as the mood strikes them).

Here’s the thing, a skunk can’t change its stripes or its scent. I’d like to hearken back to some comments made by the only guy in MLB that should be taking human growth hormone (and arsenic … I take that back--it’s a terrible thing to do to maggots, nightcrawlers and morticians) whose namesake slew a bunch of Philistines using Mini-Me’s lower mandible:

“It depends what the deal looks like. In cities where the public has fully built the stadium, I can understand the expectations for the payroll to be high. In a community where right now we've offered the fourth-largest contribution in the history of new stadiums, there is certainly a correlation between that contribution and what the payroll can be. So if we have to go even higher to get a deal done here, it will impact our payroll. We have to make sure we save the franchise first. Over the long run, that is far more important than an individual year's payroll.” (bolding and italics mine)

“The county's tab adds up to $347 million, all but $50 million to be derived from tourist-tax revenues. The Marlins, who will contribute $155 million, will get $120 million in loans, and the other $35 million will be fronted by the county and paid back through yearly rent payments of $2.3 million ... Burgess seemed satisfied that the Marlins are expected to pay about 30 percent of the cost. DuPuy said that ratio represents "on the higher end" of the amount a Major League team has contributed in recent history toward the construction of a stadium. The Marlins also have agreed to be responsible for any cost overruns that are not the fault of the city or county, Burgess said. The team has committed to put up a $20 million guarantee toward that end. Some commissioners argued that that won't be nearly enough.” (bolding and italics mine)

Do you think they’ll treat that any differently? Samson said a couple of years ago that their contribution to the project will impact their payroll and Dupuy greased the skids for them to continue spending lightly with his remark about their contribution being “on the higher end” of what teams contribute to a new park.

After the park opens and the Marlins payroll remains modest you can bet they’ll point to their stadium costs as the reason.

Of course, Selig sent his left cheek man Bob Dupuy down to Florida to issue the usual empty threats. Here’s what Pravada-Amerika had to say about this:

“Commissioners even appeared to shrug off a direct appeal from Miami-Dade mayor Carlos Alvarez, who told them at one point, with feeling, "I need your support."

Then Robert DuPuy, Major League Baseball's president and chief operating officer, rose to bring perspective to the direction in which the commission appeared to be heading.

"I just want you to know that if you decide not to make a decision tonight, that will be the death knell for baseball in Miami," DuPuy said. "We are out of time."

The tone of the meeting quickly changed, in the Marlins' favor. Diaz changed his tune and made an impassioned speech in favor of approving the agreement.

When a vote was finally taken, at about 8:30 p.m. ET, commissioners, with one person absent, voted 9-3 in favor of the deal. The three negative votes were later changed to make the decision unanimous.”

The death knell for baseball in Miami?

“[The Marlins are in] a very dark situation. The community has basically given up on the Marlins. The franchise is in jeopardy … it certainly is an option to sell to someone out of state, but I love this organization. If I start thinking in terms of giving up, it's very hard to do what needs to be done.”--John Henry (June 7, 2000)

In 2001, owners voted 28-2 to contract two major league franchises. The Florida Marlins made the short list of contraction candidates. That April, Bud Selig told the Florida state legislature that the stadium plan under consideration represented the “final opportunity for the Marlins to remain in South Florida.”

Uh huh.

My question to bloody near everybody in that room is WHERE THE HECK ARE THE MARLINS GONNA GO???

The only passable major league facility is located in Montreal (I guess they didn’t want to model the latest tar and feather ensemble), nobody has any plans even on the boards to build a new stadium or renovate an existing one to accommodate a major league team so where on God’s green earth were the Three Stooges (Bobby, Jeff and Shorty) going to take the team??

It’s like being backed to the edge of a cliff, being outnumbered 1000-to-1, you’ve got a squirt gun, they’ve got automatic weapons and artillery--you turn around to look down at the 1000 foot drop, turn back and face your adversaries and demand unconditional surrender.

Back in 2005, when Dupuy was sounding yet another death knell for the Marlins I wrote the following:

In the Monty Python movie, “In Search Of The Holy Grail”, King Arthur comes across the Black Knight. A duel ensues in which the Black Knight is relieved of all four of his appendages. The Black Knight, despite his obvious handicap, still feels he has the upper hand even though he may be inclined to call the duel a draw -- at best.

You’re playing poker. You’re holding a royal flush. Your opponent has a pair of threes. He shows you his cards. Then he puts everything into the pot including his house, his car and his firstborn and double-dog dares you to call his bluff.

Well, in this case, King Arthur and the poker player with the royal flush is the city of Miami and Miami-Dade County, and the Black Knight (apropos no?) and the poker player with the craptastic hand is Major League Baseball.

Bob Dupuy, Bud Selig’s left chee…er, right hand man and chief operating officer (COO ... which makes Dupuy one half of the coo-coo’s running MLB) sent an ominous letter to the good folks in Miami-Dade County telling them that they’re holding a pair of threes and are telling them to approve a $60 million tax rebate to finish the financing of a new stadium for the Marlins (ominous music) or else.

To show that they mean business, they’ve given local lawmakers until June 9th to finish said financing for said ballpark (ominous music) or else” … Jeffrey Loria and MLB have no leverage. Miami-Dade County is holding all the cards. There is a generous enough deal on the table for a stadium. The Marlins are getting $166 million in free money for their stadium, which is $166 million more than they deserve. If the politicians in South Florida cave into Major League Baseball’s threats, they, and the next ten generations of their families, should be held in contempt. They should go through life mocked and ridiculed, feeling the scorn of the public everywhere they turn. They should be spat on, made fun of, pointed at, and laughed at wherever they go. That would be a most fitting legacy for anyone who got outsmarted by Bud Selig holding a pair of threes.

Ready?

Best Regards

John